twenty-four / seven

my feelings all jumbled: excited, scared, failed, accomplished, hungry, empty, alive, ready, full, wanting
EVERYTHING.
on top of all the minute sadness
i'm extremely happy
i have good friends
i have a job
i have a cuteniceperfectsweet boy
i've learned valuable lessons
i'm getting everything in order.
and i'm more ready than ever for everything and anything

i feel so alive, for the very first time, and i think i can fly.

i love the way he can look at me without saying anything and make me smile so much that a laugh escapes me
i love how every moment i spend with him is exciting and different from the last
i love how i dont feel like i have to impress him; he likes me for me
i love how easy he makes things
i love how relaxed i feel when i'm in his presence
i love how his body molds to mine
i love how it feels like time stops when we're together and nothing else in the entire world matters
it's just me and him
and it feels perfect
more perfect than i ever thought anything could feel

I Will Not Bend Over and Curtsy for You

Im definitely feeling under the weather today. And it doesn't help that my dad's side of the family is over and all the little kids are asking me where every single game is.
I DONT KNOW WHERE MY DS IS. I DONT KNOW WHERE THE FUCKING GAMES ARE. I DONT HAVE ANYMORE BATTERIES. QUITE STARING AT ME I DONT KNO THE FUCKING ANSWER. SIT DOWN AND ENTERTAIN YOURSELF!
I was learning in my speech class about how sesame street was the first show that was made to keep kids' attention and how these days people are "bored" because theyre used to flashing images on a t.v. I will not let my kids watch excessive amount os television for this reason. I don;t want my kids to be bugging bigger kids that they're bored and want to play. They will read and do crosswords and tell stories. Ahh if only.!

Im extra irritable todayy. I'm about to get a migraine.
I hear the fucking loudest tv ever.
I smell rotting animal flesh being BBQed
I taste the after-taste of gatorade, consumed for the sole-purpose of making pee.
I see people. everywhere.
I feel like shit.

Hopefully my best friends can come visit me and save me from this hell.

Shmelly

Cleaning my room has to be the most difficult task, I GET SO DISTRACTED! I read old papers, i play with old trinkets, i look at old pictures, anything to slow down the celaning process. And then end up leaving my room a bigger mess than it was before. Awesome. Part 2 due tomorrow.

My mom bought me two pars of jeans and two tops from H&M, one has a wolf on it! I love cheesy things<33 And they're loose (the tops) so I already loveee them! I can't wait for tomorrow!

I miss my cute boy, even though I'm video chatting with him as I type. He's so comforting{:

The Line

Relaxing! The whole day was like a breath of fresh air!
Saw copycatzilla in the morning, went to brunch with a friend, made a big secret about myself, went to class, and relaaaaaaxed.
This is a day of blankets and pillows and cute things<3 src="http://musthavecute.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/cute-plush-guinea-pig.jpg">





interview tmrrw, i need luck! >.<

RzrBld

It was the perfect weather for job hunting today!
Got applications for a few stores i'd never shop at BUT nobodys hiring until seasonal starts-_-
BAH HUMBUG.
kidding, i love christmas. sankyou by jeezus for making a holiday about PRE$ENTS:D



I want to go to the snow and build a monster like this guy!

DEAR HALLOWEEN COSTUME,
HURRY UP AND GET TO MY HOUSE
I WANT TO PUT YOU ON MY HEAD ALREADY<3

i feel like discovering music of all types right now, falalalala lalalala.

Weird|Wired

I think my strange encounter with a madman driver last night has heightened my fear of driving ):

It's gray outside today and i'm really happy about it. It's finally cold! I believe it's time to start buying some jackets, yes?





^^^I WANT ALL OF THOSE NOW.
I'll be warm and cozy and sparkly, weeee!

i'm craving a hot shower, my footsie pajamas, and the fireplace.

xo

PostScript

Why do relationships have to be so hard to figure out? Why can't we just tell a person how we feel about them and accept their answer like you would wants yours?
Boy A was my first boyfriend ever in life but we were too young and immature to be in a relationship. Two years later I'm with Boy1 who was my first serious relationship and love. But Boy1 was mentally and emtionally abusive and used my money for bad things.
Boy A tore me away from Boy1 when we reunited on a Monday afternoon.
Tuesday afternoon, I went to kiss him. Mind you, I was still in a relationship with Boy1 and I thought I'd NEVER cheat on him. Boy A knew it was wrong and asked politely for me to stop and, basically, get back to him when I was single and ready to mingle. I was ready the following day at around 9pm when I boke up with Boy1. Finally.
Boy A immediately stole my heart. He was nice, funny, gorgeous, didnt make me pay for anything, and we already had a history. And he completed our little circle of friends since he already knew all of them. Perfect.
Not Perfect. Boy A had a little issue with making plans with me and then at the last minute saying "Oops, I made plans with someone else. Sorry!" and each time I got more and more hurt, little by little. And then I'd ask myself why I let him get away with it. I never did that to him. And he was supposed to be my "prince charming" of sorts who saved me from the evil dragon (Boy1). So the next, and last, time it happened I told him I didnt like it. I let him know that I noticed how he was always dropping our plans for other ones.
And he breaks it all off with me.
Why? I wish i knew as well.